Interview with a Sith 48 - DARTH NYRISS
by scottivan
Summary: Have you ever wanted to interview a sith lord outside of the dark side?


**Today I interview Darth Nyriss, a Dark Lord of the Sith  
and a member of the Dark Council for several decades.  
(Approx. 4190 BBY - 3950 BBY)**

**INTERVIEWER** \- Good morning, Lady Nyriss. Thank you for meeting with me.  
I have several questions which I would like to ask. With your permission, naturally.

**DARTH NYRISS** \- Why does Emperor Vitiate insist that I waste my valuable time  
learning public relations? That is why we hire staff. Sechel should be dealing with you,  
not a Dark Lord.

**INTERVIEWER** \- While I am sure that Mr. Sechel would preform admirably, I would  
rather interview a Dark Lord such as yourself.

**DARTH NYRISS** \- Which is why I am here. What is it about the sith empire that you  
need to know from me?

**INTERVIEWER** \- Please forgive me; however I am more interested in your role within  
the sith empire. As you are one of the longest tenured members of the Dark Council,  
what are you assigned duties?

**DARTH NYRISS** \- To carry out the orders from our beloved Emperor. He is our leader.  
We will follow him anywhere. He is a good leader.

**INTERVIEWER** \- What would you say are your greatest strengths?

**DARTH NYRISS** \- My incredible power and unlimited knowledge of the dark side.  
I am second only to our Emperor in power and influence within sith society.

**INTERVIEWER** \- There are persistent rumours of a future uprising against the Emperor.  
These rumours are fueled by the knowledge of past events surrounding him.

**DARTH NYRISS** \- To what events are you referring to? I have not heard any rumours.

**INTERVIEWER** \- Information is spreading amongst the masses, about a planet  
in the outer rim called Nathema. From what I hear, people are very concerned.  
With good reason. Nathema is now a barren wasteland.

**DARTH NYRISS** \- I have not heard of Nathema. I will need to research this planet.

**INTERVIEWER** \- If you do research Nathema, be prepared to vomit, if the rumours prove  
to be correct. It sounds like something out of a horror story.

**DARTH NYRISS** \- I will consider it. I may even forgive you for wasting my time.

**INTERVIEWER** \- Do you mind if I ask some personal questions? Do you enjoy any  
favourite foods or meals?

**DARTH NYRISS** \- Any "hot & spicy" soup or stew. I don't care what type, so long as it is  
thick and meaty. I also like any and all types of wines. Ice cold, of course.

**INTERVIEWER** \- Do you like to travel? Have you ever taken a vacation?

**DARTH NYRISS** \- A vacation? Are you two years old? The last vacation I took I was still  
being potty trained and sucking my thumb. Now, I go wherever the sith empire requires  
my services.

**INTERVIEWER** \- How do you relax after you are done with the dark council for the day?

**DARTH NYRISS** \- I like to take nice, long baths in boiling red mud. I once heard that it is  
great for the skin. So far, it appears to be working. Other councillors say that I look fifty  
years younger.

**INTERVIEWER** \- I'm sorry, my lady. You lost me at the "boiling" part. Human skin and  
internal organs cannot handle the extremely hot temperatures.

**DARTH NYRISS** \- That's the fun part. You can actually feel your blood slowly boiling.  
You can feel your heart, lungs, and other organs slow cook. I find it to be relaxing.

**INTERVIEWER** \- Not to mention potentially lethal. Do you have any hobbies?

**DARTH NYRISS** \- I collect relics from the greats dark lords and sith kings throughout  
our glorious history. I have the left arm bone from Tulak Hord. I keep both of Marka Ragnos  
eyeballs in a special jar. I have the jawbone from the legendary Naga Sadow.  
I even have a battle sword once owned by the great Dathka Graush. My best piece is the  
lightsaber from the 1st Dark Lord of the Sith, Ajunta Pall. My newest servant, Lord Scourge,  
knowing of my fondness for sith relics, just presented me with the frozen left ear of the great  
King Adas of Korriban.

**INTERVIEWER** \- Sounds like a nice collection. Thank you very much for the interview.

**DARTH NYRISS** \- You now OWE me. I WILL collect what is mine.


End file.
